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Censoring Movies: What the @#%^

I understand the desire of some people to censor movies when they air on TV.  You never know when some impressionable mind is going to catch someone dropping an F-bomb, or stumble into that steamy sex scene that will remove the blinders from their eyes forever.  For God’s sake, children might accidentally watch, too!

But for the love of all that is good and pure, PLEASE, use some common sense when you make your censoring decisions!  I’ll give you some examples:

First, when you decide to dub a new voice over some piece of distressing language, make sure you at least TRY to match the voice to the existing footage.  Nothing is more disturbing in a film than to hear Bruce Willis’ voice suddenly change to Squeaky McGee because you wanted to change “Motherf*#$er” to “Mister Falcon”.  There are plenty of talented voice mimics in the industry, please, please seek them out.

Second, make sure that what you want to censor is worth censoring, not just in your mind, but also in the context of the whole movie.  Last night watching The Matrix on AMC (which really needs a network name change, some of the movies they’ve been airing are FAR from “classics”, but that’s another rant), the scene near the beginning where Neo is first interrogated by Agent Smith was edited to change “how about I give you the finger” to “how about I give you a flipper”.  REALLY? Are you kidding me?  That wasn’t an obscenity laced tirade, folks, he said “give you the finger”.  In the same movie where bullets fall like rain as the violence meter pegs in the red line, you have a problem with “give you the finger”??  Wow.

Third, and finally, a sort of corollary to the second point: clean the wax out of your ears you disgusting filthy heathen of a censor and listen to what the actor is saying!  Please don’t subject us to sad little moments like Ash in Army of Darkness being censored from saying “I’m good Ash, and you’re bad Ash!” to his evil doppelganger.  Yeah, some genius made them censor the audio and silence the word “Ash”, presumably because they thought he said “ass”.  C’mon, man!  That’s a facepalm right there, folks.  No excuse.  These guys must get paid by the correction or something…

So, in closing, how about we just don’t censor movies and let them play, and maybe, just maybe, someone should look out for what their kids might be watching and decide they might not be ready for the material presented.  Oh, and don’t be a @$^%$&@^ idiot when you do censor them.  Yeah.

Don’t even get me started on censoring music on the radio….

One Response

  1. […] Friday will return next week.  Today, I had to got back to a topic I previously covered in Censoring Movies: What the @#%^.  The other night I was watching XXX (the Vin Diesel movie, not porn), and the censors pulled […]

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